Thanks!

I got my birthday card in the mail on my birthday and it was such a nice surprise! Thanks! Miss you guys! xoxo

L A R D. Yes, I said LARD.

This made me laugh.

Should we be considering lard for our taco shells?

Ladies and gentlemen, behold.

Not That Girl

I want some of what this girl smokes.

I'm sorry, you crunched on what now?

Can't you guys just see me downstairs in my bedroom with candles and celery, rocking myself through contractions?

And don't forget, she managed to bake bread and cheesecake earlier. (Listen to me lady: you. have. the. muchies!)

The only thing my 'body is meant to do' is eat a green Del Taco burrito every day. My car broke down at the drive-thru window last week. I held my burrito's 'soft, meaty body' in one hand and my cell in the other as I told the AAA associate on the phone, "yes, a tow truck to the Del Taco on Sunset. Uh huh. Thank you."

My burrito was perfection. I felt amazing, and blessed with every expansion of my belly.

Don't you see? I'll never be that girl. I'm the girl that picks up a dozen donuts on the way to the epidural. I'm the girl that begs the nurse for a pile of Lortabs served in a bowl, covered in milk, and shoveled in by the spoon full. I'm the girl who is at the drive-thru window so often, odds necessitate I eventually break down there.

Where Am I?

Do I really need to say anything about this?

Really, California?

I was unaware there were children with jobs, driver's licenses and automobiles who could drive themselves to Micky D's and open up their Dora the Explorer wallets for a happy meal.

I was also unaware I lived in China. Where am I? Shall we also have our toyless, fryless, funless children manufacture fireworks while at 'school'?

And Ronald McDonald? He's a businessman, part of the last persecuted minority.

The only line that can be clearly and permanently drawn is between laws protecting my life and property from others (not myself!) and every other law. A line drawn anywhere else will not stay there. I don't just believe in slippery slopes, history is nothing but tales of slippery slopes.

Remember when Andrea said, "anti-gun, anti-candy, anti-fun..." on the way to Tuweap? I still laugh about that.

Birthday Girl

I can't believe it's taken me a week to post these. Sorry, Cara. But check out this photo below. Anika and Emmet can play CandyLand unassisted. It is paradise.

A big, red radio flyer tricyle for the big three year old.

Three big chins for Mama to match the three big candles.
Is it my imagination or does my fat face look like it's melting off my skull?

And word. Those are ding dongs. That's how I roll when it comes to birthday cake.

2nd ammendment