I Think I Might Be Lazy

... to the core.

I wrote this last year for Nicole's blog.

bake bread
buy gum drops
exercise every day

You guessed it! This is not my to-do list! I read this to-do list on some random blog and have seen many like it on my travels through the blogosphere. I don't know what to say other than... well, I'm just in shock. Buy gum drops? Bake bread? Who are these people that bind books, throw parties and do letterpress? (ever feel like you're the only fool who doesn't know what the hell letterpress is?)

I'll tell you who they are. They are the same people who were busy entering the science fair in sixth grade while I was busy popping out of cupboards, playing mean pranks on teachers, flushing hair down school toilets, or sitting in the principal's office and/or detention. These are the Moms that make cute cupcakes, arrange play dates, volunteer for the PTA, and sew their daughters' Easter dresses.

These are my very own friends! Ciara, with her online college classes, RS enrichment, and co-op preschool. Nicole, with her grown-up job, cake class, and community photography class. To my dear friends with your energy, drive, ambition and whole-headedness: let me tell you how it goes down at my house.

Setting the scene: it's monday morning. Brandon has the day off and has decided to take Anika to the park at 9 a.m. So what do I decide to do with my alone time? Well of course- climb back in to bed with a cadburry egg, crack a can of diet coke, and watch a movie on HBO. Not until 11 a.m. did I climb in the shower. I like to shower in the dark. It helps me ease in to the day nice and gently, similar to a dimly-lit water birth.

Once swaddled in my bathrobe I go upstairs to put on my make-up in the natural light. This consists of my hands fumbling around my face until they locate some semblance of an eye socket. Once I'm sort of sure of where they should be I proceed to draw eyes on my face. You know, so I have something to see with.

I'll leave the details of the rest of my day to your imaginations. But you guessed it- I don't typically bake bread. I buy it. I buy frozen pizza too. I throw one in the oven just in time to greet hubby with a kiss, fetch his slippers and mix his martini. Phew! What a long day! I just love yogalates in pearls!

Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me. I certainly didn't get this from my Mother. She provided us candlelit breakfast every morning and re-upholstered our furniture. She was always on the go! Where did I get my half-assedness? I feel like it's all I can do to just survive a day. I don't feel I'm thriving as a young 28 yr. old mother should be. How do my friends do it? Ritalin?

However, I do keep my home immaculately clean. Again, it's not something to be proud of but rather a manifestation of a personality disorder. No wire hangars!