Happy Birthday, Janna!

This one below... what is up with my child?

We ate tacos, then cake. Everyone got really high on sugar and started popping balloons by sitting on them.

Janna baked her own cake. Red velvet. It was delicious!

Happy Birthday, Janna. Whenever I think of us being little, the first thing I think is how you would always say "I'm sorry" first. We would fight and get sent to our rooms. A little while later a note would be slipped underneath my door. It would always say something like, "I'm sorry. Let's play when Mom lets us out, okay?" WITHOUT FAIL, it was YOU who apologized FIRST. Thanks for that example. I've always remembered it. I love you so much! I love living by you and letting our big, real-life dolls play together.

Need some comic relief in your day? Watch this. It's worth sitting through the ad.

Belly Laugh

I only have three weeks until this baby boy is due so I've been busy tying up all the loose ends. You know... purchasing nursing pads, diapers, panties the size of bed sheets, and pads so indeed "Jumbo", Sea World stocks the identical ones for the afterbirths of their aquatic mammals.

I had to order a bra from Motherhood online because they were out of the one I wanted at the mall. (The Hall) I dread going inside that Motherhood store in the mall. The 'service' is oversolicitous, to say the least. They want your phone number, due date, etc., stopping just shy of a cervical exam. Everything fitting okay in there? Would you like me to strip your membranes?

They watch until you get as far as Pretzel Time and then sell your data to every advertiser in the country. Then come the never-ending samples in the mail. Slews of them.

My bras arrived today. They didn't miss the chance to throw in samples with my online order, either. I started opening them up... coupons, granola bar... and... aaaaand....wait for it.... wait for it...

... Two individually wrapped Sunsweet prunes. Shipped with my bras. As if I'm not already hyper aware of the final destination of my suckled breasts.

Mama had herself a good, long, much-needed belly laugh.

Sometimes I sits and thinks.

Sometimes I just sits.

Big People Church

Brandon and I got released from our Primary job so today we got to go to big people church. I sat by Mom in Relief Society. That was a first. Anika went to Sunbeams all by herself. She was red in the face and upset upon me leaving her there and asked, "Is this gonna take a long day?" But then she pulled herself together and did very well.

We sang this hymn in Relief Society today. It's always been one of my favorites. There are times of peace in life and times of darkness. There are times when I feel Heavenly Father so close and times when I feel He's forgotten all about me. This hymn is a reminder, a pep talk, that God is there whether we're feelin' it or not. In every change, He faithful will remain. (I don't deal well with change, it freaks me out.) The trick is to remember that and not lose confidence in Him. He will guide the future as he has the past.

1. Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

2. Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

3. Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.


More talk about my cute daughter at church:

She is so good! I never thought my kid would be that kid. (Because she was always the screamer that I couldn't even walk near the building without her stiffening up and freaking out.) She sits there like a little lady with her hymn book and sometimes even raises her right arm to sustain people in their callings. Then she's off to Primary where, somehow, she's totally absorbing the lessons and even brings up things she learned that day. Love that little squirt.

Aaaand, now that she is all adjusted and cozy at church, I have 3 weeks (tops) to enjoy it before starting the whole parade over again... take the screamer in the hall, change the diaper in the mother's room, nurse the baby, take baby in, take baby out, give up for weeks at a time and stay home, etc. But for now... 3 peaceful weeks sitting next to Mom in Relief Society as we watch my feet swell larger and larger.

Weekend at the Commune

The boys worked on our house which involved moving all the gravel and putting in a french drain. Brandon also put new concrete inside one of the drains to connect them. We're hoping that fixes the basement water problem at least on this side of our house.

Inside, I kept the kids entertained. (Or tried) They liked bowling all the balls down my stairs.

And they had to enjoy that big gravel pile for a time.

We dress the prisoners in stripes now. It makes them easier to spot if they manage an escape.

Sunday usually involves the kids playing the Xbox. Anika plays a game called Mickey's Adventure and it usually ends badly. She is, indeed, my daughter. My Nintendo games used to cause me so much distress, I would bite the controllers in rage. They had teeth marks all over them. Anika gets just as mad at her game if things don't go right. She was so distressed, I had to just turn the dang thing off which made her really freak out. Emmet listened to the fit patiently with his hands covering his ears. After 1/2 hour of that, he climbed up on the couch to look out the window and said, "Uhhhhh, when are my Mom and Dad coming home?" Poor kid had to endure the insane asylum. He's so patient with her when she needs him. He's always trying to help her when she's upset.

Aaaaand, now it's Monday. Thank goodness for The Bachelor. Emmet has no school today and it's going to be 62 degrees here. Hopefully, we will get out and do something fun... get some sunshine on these two kids... helps with the rickets.

Oldies

Lunching it at the Pasta Factory

Happy Only Child :)

Emmet and Anika had a slumber party last Saturday. Our carpet has been ripped up in her room so they were both camping out in the baby's room. For an hour before bed they jumped off the bed and went totally wild.

Then I tucked them in and left the baby monitor on. Forty minutes later, they were still whispering. I couldn't make out what they were saying but it was so cute. I can't imagine what these two were discussing non-stop for forty minutes. Jumping Jacks? Playground politics? The new cartoon on PBS? They both finally dozed off.

Emmet cracks me up. Today they were being so goofy and I said to him, "I'm so glad you guys are the goofiest kids on the planet. Because I hate boring." Emmet looked at me with quizzical eyes, his head tilted to the side, and asked, "But aren't you boring?" What a laugh that gave me. Yes, Emmet, I have been very boring lately. I can hardly move around. Check it:

Yes, at the doctor yesterday I weighed in at 190 big L-Bs. Granted, I was wearing maternity jeans the size of sails and my Uggs. But still. I really think I'm going to hit 200 and when I do I expect you all to throw me a party. With a whale pinata. And golden Oreos. Dang them golden Oreos.

I took this photo of the poor Big B while I had the camera out. He works 12-14 hours everyday and then crashes there on the carpet with the heating pad on his back or neck. He's trying again to get on the volunteer fire department so we can have health insurance. There's a good chance he will get on because they need three or so new volunteer guys at our station. As much as I know we need it, I'm kind of hoping he wont get on. Only because that's the last thing he needs. This man gets no rest.

And pretty soon I will be getting no rest. Only 5 weeks, folks, until this baby hatches. Anika is going to FREAK OUT when she realizes we weren't BSing her! I'm so nervous about what her reaction will be. Don't worry, I will guard the helpless infant with my life and never leave the two alone.

Just a little something

So, a while ago Alana introduced me to this cookbook called The Pioneer Woman. It has the most tasty and easy recipes. I love them all! When I was looking for recipes I came across this little post she had called Solace in the Skies. I kinda like it. She also had a lot of other cool stuff on her blog . You should check it out.

I'm sure you all saw this video Mike posted on facebook. I'm posting it here again for Bemy. Bemy, when are you getting on facebook? That would be crrrraaaazy!

Let me try to articulate for y'all my life's philosophy:

Just because we perceive reality a certain way doesn't mean that our perception is the end-all, be-all of reality. Isn't it neat that science and math prove things our bodies and senses have no way of accessing?

I've thought about these things a lot in my life. It's the best feeling to succumb to the awe of the universe, of mortality, and just give up any notion that I will ever be able to truly grasp or truly visualize what really IS. It feels good to just cozy up with the awe and let my spirit perceive things without trying to attach words (symbols) to anything.

I don't know how limited our frame of reference is. But I know it is. And I believe mortality was designed that way. I think mortality is a brief stint in the unreal. Our 'eyes' are veiled.

As great as it feels to snuggle up to not-knowing, it feels even better to tap briefly in to knowing. After years of practice, I have become very familiar with what it feels like to recognize and learn truth. It feels like my soul enlarging, my understanding being enlightened. It feels like pure knowledge and light pouring in to me. It feels like revelation. It feels joyous and familiar.

I have had some of my most powerful spiritual experiences reading books about physics. Moments of pure revelation that made me literally fall of my chair and roll around laughing, reeling, giddy in the fleeting moment of touching what really is.

It can be while learning about science. Or history. Or reading the scriptures. Or reading anyone's religious texts. Or sitting in the desert. But when pure light pours in to me... when truth is being revealed... I can feel it. I recognize it. It feels like remembering something I once knew. And it makes me want to jump for joy.

___________________

Yo. Whenever Oprah reminds me that Moms are supposed to do things for themselves like get pedicures and go out with their girlfriends to stay sane, I think hmmmmm, what would help me stay sane? Pedis are good. The girls are good. But what really brings me joy? What is my escapism?

And the answer is.... drum roll... writing. It can be something silly or serious, doesn't matter. As long as I think I've got an audience, (Enter: you guys!) writing makes me happy. I've resolved to write more on this here blog thingy (thangy, bearded thangy).

This weightier light-entering-my-soul business should stick around for a few days because I can't stop thinking about it. (Bear with the girl.) But then perhaps I can return to more trivial blogging. Like about Dreyer's rocky road and stuff. I also yearn to write about all the adventures I had growing up. Like living out of the orange truck. And stuff. It just makes me happy. So stay tuned.

And in the mean time...

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to read Alma Chapter 32 (in the Book of Mormon, yo!) from verse 21 to the end of the chapter before you come back to this blog. It's your homework. You never know, there may be a pop quiz.

I love you guys.

Haggas

Keep Calm and Carry On

new helmet cam (:

video from my new helmet cam, this clip was shot in the lowest resolution with 60 frames/second. it can shoot in 960p, but only in 30 frames/second. more videos to co me!

HERE'S THE VIDEO